I think... I think I may fall in love again.
It started a few weeks ago. I don't know when exactly, but it's there. Inside my head. I think of him more often. At the begining, I didn't pay attention to that. But now, it is obvious.
When I understood that he would tell me "I love you" soon, I didn't get scared. I just told myself that I was lucky beacause he's such a nice guy.
He didn't tell it yet. But it's for the next days, I know it. He made me understand.

A month ago, I think I would have been totally freaked out, hearing the words. The three words. I love you.
But instead of that feeling, I just... Well, I'm quite floating above the ground.
I want to see him. More and more. I want to be in his arms. More and more. Just there, looking at him. I'm feeling good with him. He's doing his best to satisfy me.

He told me beautiful things. He made beautiful things. Romantics things.
When I look back to September, I just can't believe it. I was so sad beacause of a man, and now, thank to him, I think I soon will be able to love again. To love him.

To be fair, I could tell the three words today, without lying. But the pain I felt five months ago... Well I guess it is unconscious : I still am afraid of what could happen. There's still a part of me that is suspicious, and this part does not allow me to love. For now. Cause I know that soon, I will be able to answer him "I love you too".

This part of me is also why I write in english. It is less real. If I don't write in french, well, it's like it is unwritten here, huh? I mean, I think all I wrote, but i'm superstitious, and I'm afraid if I write it... Well, all will fuck up.

So it's there. I feel it. But I don't write it.